The Prophet “Doug” (Not Religious or Whatever) and His Manifesto

A chronicle, that the founding not be forgotten

And so our prophet (not religious or whatever) “Doug” did come forward to a dirt parking lot in El Granada on Sextilis the fourth in the year 2026 (common era). There he did press “Publish,” and his overly descriptive and obtuse manifesto was put forth for all to bear witness. Most were confused. Some got it. As was intended.

The Manifesto of “Doug”

Hey man, let’s hang out. Let’s take a few moments and make a damn fine cup of coffee. I can show you how. I can help you appreciate the effort it takes to grow, harvest, and roast beans — something we take for granted. It’ll be free. You can come away with a buzz, new friend(s), and maybe thoughts on how you can modify your daily ritual to be more sustainable. Our gatherings will be random in nature.

It’ll work like this: I provide the infrastructure, you provide your presence and curiosity. I make the coffee. You choose your mug. You drink the coffee and we talk (or just hang out). You can keep the mug if you want or let someone else use it — once sanitized. If you want, you can donate a fun mug for others to use or bring back your mug — no biggie. I will power and run the pop-up from the back of my electric car so there’s no noise and no pollution. Imma also gonna clean up the trash where we hang out before I open shop. It seems like our neighborhoods could use some rematriation (sup Braiding Sweetgrass!) and get the area looking amazing. I mean, if not us, then who? This will also evolve so let’s just roll with that, k?

It’s important that we find each other by happenstance and organically — this is not forced tribe building. I’ll post where I plan on being a day or so ahead of time on my Mastodon account — see Find Me link in header/footer. This is special and scarce, not on schedule or on demand (well, maybe sometimes). So no aggressive neighboring or begging others to join. If you get it, you get it. Also, please no asshats. Let’s just be kind and take a break from what we call “normal” but really isn’t. This overconsumption algorithm we are being fed isn’t sustainable, and it’s designed to monetize our loneliness. Let’s make things better, together.

So I, “Doug,” your caffeinated prophet (not religious or whatever), hereby declare a Fourth Wave of coffee is rising. Let’s devolve back to our roots as social beings who are connected to and dependent on each other. Let’s focus on unity and be reinvigorated via the essential common unifying drug of caffeinated coffee. Yeah, I’ve got tea too, but no cream or sugar. Eventually, I’ll have a kid-friendly beverage too. Let’s take away good vibes, to our homes and our greater community.

OK, lemme get on a righteous soapbox and ask us to please leave behind the Three Waves of patriarchal, transactional extraction. Let us also discontinue the overused terms of First, Second, Third (and Fourth) Coffee Wave, for they perpetuate how things are going: ecologically unsustainable, expensive, unhealthy, and part of the problem we face — being alone together.

Instead, I, “Doug,” your coffee prophet (not religious or whatever), hereby declare we will move forth together.

The Forth Wave has begun. (Oooh, I see what you did there, nerd.)